I'm not the school principal

I am Fermi Wong. I wish to tell you a story. It took place in 2001. It was not long after I helped find school placements for some ethnic minority children. They did not know Chinese as a language and could not catch up with the others in school for the Chinese class, failing to complete even the most basic homework. I therefore transformed my office into a small tutorial centre, giving supplementary Chinese lessons to about a dozen of primary 4 to 6 ethnic minority children who came after school. Among them was a 6-year-old Nepalese boy who came with some other Nepalese children senior in age and who spoke neither Chinese nor English. He was sweet and well behaved. When I asked, with the other children translating, why he was not in school uniform, He did not say anything. But on the following day, he came wearing a white shirt and grey shorts. I asked him again, what about your school bag? He said he did not have one. So I gave him one as a present. He came in with the school bag on the third day. In there were an exercise book and a pencil case. And don’t you have books? I enquired. So on the fourth day, he had in his bag a few used storybooks. “How come there is no school badge on your uniform” was another of my questions. He did not say anything but continued to come learn Chinese everyday. He always completed the exercises I gave him as homework. Another week was past when a Nepalese man came for me in the class. He introduced himself as the father of the boy and said he wished to see and thank the “school principal” in person for allowing his child a chance to study. Thinking that he might have come to the wrong place, I was about to take him to the school when he uttered my name, “Fermi Wong”. I instantly clarified with him that I was no school principal but a social worker that wished to help ethnic minority children learn Chinese by giving free tutorial classes. The father was surprised at my explanations. If this is not a school then where could the boy have been all these days always since early morning? I told him what I saw over the past two weeks. He listened; much taken aback but soon came to realize what actually had happened. I saw tears running down the face of this man in his thirties. The man had arrived in Hong Kong for about 6 months. He worked in a construction site for more than ten hours a day. His wife was still in Nepal. He did not have any time, nor did he know how, to find a school for the boy. But then one morning, while he was still unsure of what to do, he found the boy was going to school with other children in the neighborhood. The kid came back that evening saying that the school principal had required him to put on the school uniform. With heartfelt gratitude, the father thought his fellow compatriots had helped to secure a school place for the boy. It was at that point that the man came to realize what could have been the story: every morning, his 6-year-old boy would travel from Tsuen Wan where he lived to Yaumatei where the school was with the other children, only to stay and wait for them outside the school till it finished. Every morning, this little boy would leave home at 7 am, and from 8 am to after 3 pm; he would be sitting outside the school waiting to come to my tutorial class with the others. No wonder the boy had told his father that he had to wait for a long time before he could attend classes, and that classes were always short. I listened to the man speaking in tear and my heart was saddened. I was sorry for my misunderstanding and promised to do my best to find the boy a school place. But before long, the man decided to send the boy back to his home village in Nepal where the mother was. I saw this kid again recently. The whole family is going to move to UK. He still does not know much about Chinese but he continues to take me as his school principal. Every youngster I have met in the ethnic minority community has an untold story of his or her own. Every face, every eyesight, every drop of tears, every laughter tells a true story of life and dignity. I have promised myself – I will not again allow any child I know be deprived of the chance of education either because of my heedlessness or as a result of the faulty system

The Coaching Process for Inner Reflection

PCA(Parentcoachalliance) Forum 13/3/09
Place: Japanese Club

Coach Lee facilitated the parent group to aware how different values among people created conflicts and how different forms of emotions reflected our values. This happens between parent-child, aged mom-daughter... Everyone is unique, we learn to be more appreciative and let go "my way". Summer led the discussion on " personal experience in being a parent coach" " How we listen to kids". The group shared a lot of experiences and we're empowered to trust our kids more, knowing that all of us are not perfect. Using 1 word to wrap up by everyone, we need to be Pure and Humble to Aware, Trust and Reflect so that we're Empowered to see the Depth and Fire of Change. What a fruitful evening!

coach Selene

情人節

從前傳媒/商人宣傳情人節時，多著重男女感情，當我未拍拖時便感到有些壓力。近年來宣傳的對象則比較廣氾，其實能視情人節為一個機會向親人，摰友，朋友，同事表達欣賞或多謝，反而令人感到溫暖在人間。我問兒子：你認為愛是什麼？ 兒子說：是大家對大家很好。
愛，永遠最無敵，聖經也說愛，願你細味並共勉之：

「我若能說萬人的方言，並天使的話語，卻沒有愛，我就成了鳴的鑼，響的鈸一般。
我若有先知講道之能，也明白各樣的奧祕，各樣的知識，而且有全備的信，叫我能夠移山，卻沒有愛，我就算不得什麼。
我若將所有的賙濟窮人，又捨己身叫人焚燒，卻沒有愛，仍然於我無益。
愛是恆久忍耐，又有恩慈；愛是不嫉妒；愛是不自誇，不張狂
不做害羞的事，不求自己的益處，不輕易發怒，不計算人的惡，
不喜歡不義，只喜歡真理；
凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。
愛是永不止息。先知講道之能終必歸於無有；說方言之能終必停止；知識也終必歸於無有。…
如今常存的有信，有望，有愛這三樣，其中最大的是愛。」
(哥林多前書13章)

coach Selene

開年

年初二的早晨，一家人差不多十時才起床，真是睡得痛快。我們往麥記吃早餐，看聖經，三口子分享聖經的信念，然後在十分清靜的公園邊行邊祈禱。到了籃球場，我們玩三人籃球，最後玩比賽，以10分為勝，爸爸對兩母子，賽程緊湊激烈，爸爸3: 0領先，母子組追至 3:3，跟著是8:7領先，爸爸追至 9: 8，母子組追至 9和，決定贏2分方為勝，母子組竟然入了多一球，最後，也是最興奮的一刻，就是兒子入了決定性的一球，母子組以11:9勝出了！雖然比賽過程里，爸爸沒有太認真阻礙入球，母子組也曾出茅招捉住爸爸， 但mark球搶球時也很氣喘，母子組是十分落力和投入的，而且最鼓勵莫過於兒子入最後一球。當我假裝記者訪問兒子學習了什麼時，他說：「原來每人有他的個人能力。」在訪問中，母子組將進軍美國NBA，爸爸則往澳門接受反茅策略訓練。開年，開得很開心。
coach Selene

Confidence Coaching

Building confidence is in the mind or attitude rather than in skills. Coaching is one of the best ways to help rediscovering the confidence what seems to have disappeared. People who often lacking confidence are high achievers and they feel their works never good enough. The fact most have ability to carry tasks to a very high standard but not good enough only to themselves, therefore giving up. So confidence is a mindset matter rather than skillset. Therefore I don't have a list of skills to give or steps pertaining to build confidence. However, since confidence can't be taught but appreciate through experience of successes, we could coach people ( assuming they want to be coached) to set goals, take actions and enjoy the fruits of their actions which in turn make them feel good, thereby rebuilding the confidence. So it's a simple process of commitment by the coachee to set goal, take action and repeat and apply them to other endeavors. Only the coachee could make it fly.

SK

Mindset

Read a great book called Mindset, the New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. The book rekindles many coaching concepts that have been using by coaches. Mindset determines the success of many endeavors that at first appear in futile but by having a growth mindset helps people to tackle these futile hard works as learning experiences. According to Carol, parents usually over praise their children performance and brilliance and ignore praising their efforts and hard works that contribute to the successes. As a result, children feel gifted are not willing to try again after failing. There's one misconception that if they're so brilliant they wouldn't have to do things many times. By continue trying signals they're not that brilliant after all. That's one of the resaons many children don't want to try again and again after failing. But the truth of the matter is the mentality of continue trying and putting efforts is the key to most successes, not the sudden brilliance.