We Will Rock You

Have been a dire hard rock fan for decades. Led Zeppelin, The Queen, The Beatles, The Who, Aerosmith, Deep Purple, Grand Funk, Jimi Hendrick are my favorites. I could listen to them all days and never got tired. My sons and daughter also like hard rock, heavy metal rock which contain lyrics that would not be normally accepted by parents. I know my children risk their soul being tainted by this sub culture and that's the risk I am willing to take as a parent. My daughter and I went to Rock Musical - We Will Rock You, a musical story created based Queen's twenty two songs. I had a wonderful time that reminds me when I watched- The Jesus Christ Superstar back in 70's about the same age as my daughter now. There have been so much saying about how rock affects negatively on young generation. But rock has been one of the cultures that have been around over half century. Clearly the world would not be the same had the Rock culture not been around last fifty years. The generation so called @ Baby boomers@ would not have the nostalgic time that most could reminisce the free in the 60's, the creative in that 70's that paved the free spirit this generation can enjoy.

I like this quote

"When we get beyond resentment and denial over the conditions of life and death and we accept our situation, life ceases to be a problem and we become authentic and compassionate".
Dr. Raj Persaud, Motivated Mind

Family Coaching Book

Contemplating a possible family coaching book for readers. The more I think about it the more I see the need to put my experience in use, particularly my humble ways to look at what it takes to be good moms and dads. On news alluded repeatedly in paper, TV and radio, tragic episodes on family mishaps appear almost daily. I take the fact media mostly reports bad news. I 'm sure there are numerous good news in the community which lack of catchy features, therefore eluding opportunity being carried in the news. Basic elements that constitute good relationship in the family stem from marital basis. The book I consider writing hopefully co-authoring with others is full of explicit examples how and what to do.

Keys to Coaching Success

Read many coaching books which explain coaching process, what it takes to be successful and others. These explanations sum up to simple yet difficult points 1) set unadulterated goal 2) get resources to get it done 3) track the progress. These three steps are absolutely important if one were to be successful in any endeavor. Clearly, it's a lot more difficult done than said. First we all suffer goal conflicts which dilute the attention to attain the goals. How we weigh what is more important than others? Second, goal conflict also takes away resources that may need to achieve the results. We all have limited time, money , connections that need to get job done. Unadulterated goal is more a myth than reality when it's weighted against the complexity of life and different roles we wear as individual, father, student, husband, boss, subordinate etc.... Final, tracking the progress, it's by far the most important but often being ignored. Without tracking the progress, we don;t know how we are doing whether we are off and how far from the target. In coaching that how we measure the success of coaching process whether it's worth paying for the services. Any one of three essences that constitutes successful coaching is a must for a coach to grasp.

Gottman's four horsemen that surely bring an end to a marriage

Four Horsemen that surely bring an end to a marriage

Read John Gottman’s “Four-Horsemen of Apocalypse” in which he heralds four factors that will inevitably end couple’s relationship – criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling. How many times we couples are using one of if not all these horsemen to ensure winning of verbal battle against your spouse. You might win a battle but lose a war. Professor Gottman remarks most healthy couple usually has 5 to 1 ratio to say positive things compared to negative comments. Healthy couples will conscious be aware of these four horsemen, ensuring that they would not be used as often to harm the relationship, particularly for those couples who have married for a long time taking their spouse for granted, trumping these horsemen in a battle, eventually making all losers with no winners in sight.

What did we learn as parents?

One of the most often heard comments from parents is their kids are nailed to the seats for computer games or appear doing something that parents are not comfortable in front of the computer (when asked what they are not comfortable about, parents couldn't name any specific). The debate over the usage of computer by our kids is long and acrimonious. Experts have loads of advices helping parents what can and can't be done in order to regulate the usage of kid's computer time. Not only these experts dispute how kid's computer time should be regulated, they also dispute the time kids are allowed to use the computer. Parents are given the plethora of methods which offer a solution that you could follow particular experts' tenets and no other. I just wonder by regulating the activities that prevent kids to receive information that is not right for them, would there be a better way for parents just to be a part of kid's world and find out what they are actually receiving, and then share with them in whatever form that helps to keep the dialogue going.

Sichuan

The hottest topic around is still wit Sichuan. Yesterday, the council of my hospice care NGO held a meeting and expressed the grave concern on the mental state of these family members who are left alive and orphaned in the calamity. The grieving process takes months sometimes years depending on individual. The fact many agencies showing good intention have sent volunteered counselors in this stage has little effect for the needy. Bereavement is a healing process that time plays an important part. The council suggests that let things get settled before sending in volunteers and we are aware the long commitment to the process which could take years. We have therefore assigned several hundred thousand dollars as reserve to fund the program and more resource would be forthcoming. We also notice language is a major barrier and the council take a position that our expertise lies with the setting up framework and training to backup local counselors who are in much better position to do the field works. We have experienced some great team works which one won't find among NGOs, not even in Tsunami several years ago.