Copyright: CoachVille 2005, Dovid Grossman and Ken Mossman
1. Know yourself
Description: You are your child's most important role model. You can be most effective as a role model when you are doing so with a clear understanding of your values, purpose, and what makes you worthy of this role. This class will help you assess and maximize your strengths. The intention is explore yourself deeply and then live conscientiously while focusing on how you want to be known in your child's life.
a. Examine yourself
b. How do others see you? How are you perceived in the world?
c. Live your life by choice not by default (paradigms, stories, choice, core dynamics)
d. Design your personal success formula
e. Mentor your child
2. Embrace self improvement through balance
Description: Your ability to be healthy and fully engaged in your child’s life depends on your active involvement in self improvement in all areas of your life: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. In this class you will learn how to create a personal and professional growth plan to support you in your role as dad.
a. Mental
b. Emotional
c. Spiritual
d. Physical
e. Personal and professional growth plan
3. Know each child
Description: By understanding your child more fully, you will be able to help maximize his / her potential. This class will help you learn how to evaluate your child’s strengths, interests, personality, and network.
a. The perfect child is age appropriate
b. What is your child’s personality type?
c. What are your child’s strengths and weaknesses?
d. What are your child’s interests and passions?
e. Know your child’s network
4. Communicate lovingly and effectively
Description: Kids hear not only your verbal message but the way it’s presented. Oftentimes your non verbal message overshadows what your heart wants to communicate. In this class, you will learn how to get your love message across in a way your child really “gets it” and can appreciate it.
a. Use your tone and body language wisely - talk to your children as you would any other person you respect
b. Recognize your judgments and throw them away
c. Believe in your child’s unique, intrinsic value (being), and his / her contribution to the world
d. Listen to hear what is going on; understand what is really going on, and only then respond
e. Confirm (s)he got the right message
5. Learn the art of discipline
Description: Since discipline is an art not a science, it’s important to distinguish between the two and how to apply it as an art. Establish rules and practices, communicate them clearly and cleanly, and then recognize when to and when NOT to enforce them. In this class you’ll learn how to establish structure while delivering a message of love.
a. It’s an art
b. Clearly state the rules
c. Communicate natural and logical consequences
d. Communicate the benefits of positive behavior (compliance with guidelines)
e. Corrective measures are age appropriate
f. Mistakes are fantastic opportunities
6. Champion your childrenDescription:
High performing individuals are surrounded by positive encouragement and influences. As a parent you are in an excellent position to design this environment for your child. In this class, you will learn how to encourage your child to truly understand his / her potential and validate his / her efforts along the way in a manner (s)he can appreciate. You will also be able to provide grounded acknowledgement of achievement as your child sees it.
a. Be genuine - truly feel it
b. Teach you child to acknowledge his / her strengths
c. Teach your child to ask for what (s)he wants
d. Champion everything—qualities, service others, insights, skills, abilities, etc.
e. Don’t ask for the next step
f. Emphasize the process, not just the product; encourage him / her
g. Advocate your child in the world (you are his / her defender and staunchest supporter)
7. Establish healthy family environments
Description: It’s hard to be your best without a healthy family support structure. In this class you will learn time-honored principles and strategies to provide a nurturing family environment. You will learn to create family value statements, family-operating principles, establish and run regular family meetings, ensure proper nutrition and exercise, and powerfully support your children to be their very best.
a. Demonstrate love and respect for your spouse / partner
b. Understand that “Children Learn What They Live” (poem)
c. Create family value statements
d. Create family operating principles
e. Establish regular family meetings
f. Ensure proper nutrition and exercise
g. Provide a nurturing family environment
8. Live in the present
Description: The past is history; the future is a mystery; the present is a gift; therefore, it is called the “present”. This class will teach you to see the perfection of the present and how to use it. Learn how to hone in on immediate opportunities that feel more like disasters. Drop the past as well as the future (yes, drop your kids future - at least your design of it!)
a. The present is perfect - appreciate it as it is.
b. The opportunities are now
c. Express gratitude -refer to the gifts of today
d. Drop the past and future
e. Set goals; live in the present
9. Integrity: walk the talk
Description: In the stormy path of life, you are your child’s rudder to help him / her to maintain an even keel. In this class you’ll learn how to walk the talk so your child will always know how to choose right from wrong.
a. “Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.” Albert Schweitzer
b. Define Integrity
c. Define right and wrong
d. Teach right from wrong
e. Do right from wrong
f. Tell how and why you did the right thing
10. Envision family goals
Description: The most effective way to get anything done is to define what you want done and how you will get there. In this class, you’ll learn how to set goals and strategies for the family just like in business.
a. What are your intentions (healthy, happy, and united) for your family?
b. Design and define family success formula
c. Discuss with family members
d. Create consensus goals
e. Design an action plan
11. Teach life skills
Description: Life skills are taught at home or on the street. What’s your preference? In this class, you will identify the more important life skills that you will want to ensure your child has by the time he / she leaves home.
a. Personal discipline (choose your influences wisely – be mindful of the influence you provide others )
a. Household management (cooking, cleaning, maintenance)
b. Financial management
c. Personal hygiene
d. Auto maintenance
e. Life lessons, e.g., good manners, asking for what you want, setting expectations of how to be treated
12. Help your child learn to take responsibility
Description: Help your child learn to take responsibility or suffer the consequences. In this class, you will learn how to teach real life responsibilities while the cost of failure is still low.
a. Give responsibility so he / she can practice
b. Don’t do anything for your child that he / she can do for himself / herself
c. Ensure what you give your child is age appropriate
d. Discuss the rewards and consequences of being responsible
e. Start early
13. Create family traditions and rituals
Description: When families get together, they often tell stories about shared memories. In this class, you will learn how to create memorable family traditions and rituals which will be treasured for a lifetime.
a. Honor the family
b. Create good will
c. Connect past, present and future generations
d. Provide healing and nurturing
e. Create memories
14. Fully engage creativity
Description: Opportunities can be lost daily to rigidity. In this class, you’ll learn to create an open environment where spontaneity and creativity are cherished.
a. Play
b. Explore - trust the process
c. Value humor
d. Promote creative expression -open to outcome - no attachment - now!
e. Schedule time for creative expression
15. Provide spiritual leadership
Spirituality is a powerful source of energy in life. In this class you will learn how to acknowledge, embrace, and foster spiritual leadership.
a. Continually expand spiritual capacity
b. Participate in personal ritual / retreat / reflection
c. Ensure child’s age appropriate participation
d. Feel nurtured in the relationship with God
e. Integrate deep experience, personal, and within self
f. Connect to purpose beyond self interest
g. Recognize and share the common thread of spiritual practice around the world
1. Know yourself
Description: You are your child's most important role model. You can be most effective as a role model when you are doing so with a clear understanding of your values, purpose, and what makes you worthy of this role. This class will help you assess and maximize your strengths. The intention is explore yourself deeply and then live conscientiously while focusing on how you want to be known in your child's life.
a. Examine yourself
b. How do others see you? How are you perceived in the world?
c. Live your life by choice not by default (paradigms, stories, choice, core dynamics)
d. Design your personal success formula
e. Mentor your child
2. Embrace self improvement through balance
Description: Your ability to be healthy and fully engaged in your child’s life depends on your active involvement in self improvement in all areas of your life: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. In this class you will learn how to create a personal and professional growth plan to support you in your role as dad.
a. Mental
b. Emotional
c. Spiritual
d. Physical
e. Personal and professional growth plan
3. Know each child
Description: By understanding your child more fully, you will be able to help maximize his / her potential. This class will help you learn how to evaluate your child’s strengths, interests, personality, and network.
a. The perfect child is age appropriate
b. What is your child’s personality type?
c. What are your child’s strengths and weaknesses?
d. What are your child’s interests and passions?
e. Know your child’s network
4. Communicate lovingly and effectively
Description: Kids hear not only your verbal message but the way it’s presented. Oftentimes your non verbal message overshadows what your heart wants to communicate. In this class, you will learn how to get your love message across in a way your child really “gets it” and can appreciate it.
a. Use your tone and body language wisely - talk to your children as you would any other person you respect
b. Recognize your judgments and throw them away
c. Believe in your child’s unique, intrinsic value (being), and his / her contribution to the world
d. Listen to hear what is going on; understand what is really going on, and only then respond
e. Confirm (s)he got the right message
5. Learn the art of discipline
Description: Since discipline is an art not a science, it’s important to distinguish between the two and how to apply it as an art. Establish rules and practices, communicate them clearly and cleanly, and then recognize when to and when NOT to enforce them. In this class you’ll learn how to establish structure while delivering a message of love.
a. It’s an art
b. Clearly state the rules
c. Communicate natural and logical consequences
d. Communicate the benefits of positive behavior (compliance with guidelines)
e. Corrective measures are age appropriate
f. Mistakes are fantastic opportunities
6. Champion your childrenDescription:
High performing individuals are surrounded by positive encouragement and influences. As a parent you are in an excellent position to design this environment for your child. In this class, you will learn how to encourage your child to truly understand his / her potential and validate his / her efforts along the way in a manner (s)he can appreciate. You will also be able to provide grounded acknowledgement of achievement as your child sees it.
a. Be genuine - truly feel it
b. Teach you child to acknowledge his / her strengths
c. Teach your child to ask for what (s)he wants
d. Champion everything—qualities, service others, insights, skills, abilities, etc.
e. Don’t ask for the next step
f. Emphasize the process, not just the product; encourage him / her
g. Advocate your child in the world (you are his / her defender and staunchest supporter)
7. Establish healthy family environments
Description: It’s hard to be your best without a healthy family support structure. In this class you will learn time-honored principles and strategies to provide a nurturing family environment. You will learn to create family value statements, family-operating principles, establish and run regular family meetings, ensure proper nutrition and exercise, and powerfully support your children to be their very best.
a. Demonstrate love and respect for your spouse / partner
b. Understand that “Children Learn What They Live” (poem)
c. Create family value statements
d. Create family operating principles
e. Establish regular family meetings
f. Ensure proper nutrition and exercise
g. Provide a nurturing family environment
8. Live in the present
Description: The past is history; the future is a mystery; the present is a gift; therefore, it is called the “present”. This class will teach you to see the perfection of the present and how to use it. Learn how to hone in on immediate opportunities that feel more like disasters. Drop the past as well as the future (yes, drop your kids future - at least your design of it!)
a. The present is perfect - appreciate it as it is.
b. The opportunities are now
c. Express gratitude -refer to the gifts of today
d. Drop the past and future
e. Set goals; live in the present
9. Integrity: walk the talk
Description: In the stormy path of life, you are your child’s rudder to help him / her to maintain an even keel. In this class you’ll learn how to walk the talk so your child will always know how to choose right from wrong.
a. “Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.” Albert Schweitzer
b. Define Integrity
c. Define right and wrong
d. Teach right from wrong
e. Do right from wrong
f. Tell how and why you did the right thing
10. Envision family goals
Description: The most effective way to get anything done is to define what you want done and how you will get there. In this class, you’ll learn how to set goals and strategies for the family just like in business.
a. What are your intentions (healthy, happy, and united) for your family?
b. Design and define family success formula
c. Discuss with family members
d. Create consensus goals
e. Design an action plan
11. Teach life skills
Description: Life skills are taught at home or on the street. What’s your preference? In this class, you will identify the more important life skills that you will want to ensure your child has by the time he / she leaves home.
a. Personal discipline (choose your influences wisely – be mindful of the influence you provide others )
a. Household management (cooking, cleaning, maintenance)
b. Financial management
c. Personal hygiene
d. Auto maintenance
e. Life lessons, e.g., good manners, asking for what you want, setting expectations of how to be treated
12. Help your child learn to take responsibility
Description: Help your child learn to take responsibility or suffer the consequences. In this class, you will learn how to teach real life responsibilities while the cost of failure is still low.
a. Give responsibility so he / she can practice
b. Don’t do anything for your child that he / she can do for himself / herself
c. Ensure what you give your child is age appropriate
d. Discuss the rewards and consequences of being responsible
e. Start early
13. Create family traditions and rituals
Description: When families get together, they often tell stories about shared memories. In this class, you will learn how to create memorable family traditions and rituals which will be treasured for a lifetime.
a. Honor the family
b. Create good will
c. Connect past, present and future generations
d. Provide healing and nurturing
e. Create memories
14. Fully engage creativity
Description: Opportunities can be lost daily to rigidity. In this class, you’ll learn to create an open environment where spontaneity and creativity are cherished.
a. Play
b. Explore - trust the process
c. Value humor
d. Promote creative expression -open to outcome - no attachment - now!
e. Schedule time for creative expression
15. Provide spiritual leadership
Spirituality is a powerful source of energy in life. In this class you will learn how to acknowledge, embrace, and foster spiritual leadership.
a. Continually expand spiritual capacity
b. Participate in personal ritual / retreat / reflection
c. Ensure child’s age appropriate participation
d. Feel nurtured in the relationship with God
e. Integrate deep experience, personal, and within self
f. Connect to purpose beyond self interest
g. Recognize and share the common thread of spiritual practice around the world
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