2008

2008 has been a year of reflection. That includes all aspects of my life: financial, physical, spiritual, relational, mental (personal growth), and psychological. Not a small feast when one has to take into account every of above and do it in a way that balances a life. I'm not interested to rate against my previous years. I know what were the gains and losses. I wouldn't like to fall into the trap of going after bigger goals every year. It will become a never-ending story of self-indulging games that may cause so much suffering for many people and I don't want to be like that.
I admit I could have worked a little harder, made a bit more money, completed my doctorate, written another book and found a dozen more clients. I could have done all that still find not enough and not feel fulfilled. I tend to take life as it flow. If it comes, it comes. If not, that's okay too. As it turned out , although a little poorer financially just like a lot of my friends, I maintain the stamina to complete coming three marathons. I also admit I need to add a bit spice on my spiritual study that has not been as real to me nowadays than say three years ago. I believe I'm more philosophical to deal with many life issues such as flabby body shape or crow legs around my eyes. All these are signs of aging and are slowly accepted them signs with grace. The most rewarding areas to me is to maintain new found friendships resulted in hiking activities. Relationship with family has always been my foundation and strong suit, although there are challenging times as my children become teenagers who have been my inspiration and without them my life wouldn't have fulfilled. I'm grateful for that.

Leverage

Writing a chapter in my new book called leverage in coaching context. What does it mean to most people about "leverage" ? In investment world, it has become a "doggy" word which has caused calamities in the world because of the leverage that most investors went crazy creating the investment bubble that's fueled by none the less the easy money policy of the US Federal Reserve. The boom and bust that goes with investment and economy could have the same effect in coaching world. The leverage we use in the form of borrowed favors from family and friends, if without accountability and introspection when is enough could prove damaging as well. So living and doing within our means is the key to maintain the form of stable relationship that could make things a lot easy. Current situation of deleveraging process in business world is as painful as one could imagine, that unwinding the borrowings and going back to basic need adjustment slowly. In relationship, that's also true

Men and Women

In the process of writing a book on men and women relationship, particularly in a marriage. Many books have been written about marriage which is the most important relationship of all in a family setting. Although many experts argue children are just well brought up even in a broken family situation, given choice, a family intact which has good marital relationship is surely a preference over a family fallen apart.
So what is impasse that causes the eventual fallout? Perhaps, men and women need to pay a bit attention on style of communication. Here are two key sentiments we need to take into account in communication that could save the marriage in the end.
Men compete in the position of "Status" and Women in the position of "Connection". So you hear women sharing thoughts and feelings that earn them closeness among family and friends. That's the connection they are after. You also hear men awfully quiet at home but in workplaces or in public, they could speak hours. That's the status as an expert they are after. All these tendencies have a lot to do with brought up as men and women. Men believe in logic, information, facts, hierarchy while women into feeling, connection, and caring. These qualities chunked out different personalities. Without awareness, they could spell world of differences that resulted in bad relationship.

Parenting

In today's world, parenting is about letting your children developing into something what they want instead of stamping them into conformity. In essence, it's how coaching all about. It's hard in the beginning and it's frightening, confronting all these devilish thoughts that letting go of control means our children will fall into abysmal pits that will never recover from the ills. That fact letting our children developing into what they want is the surest way to nurture responsible children who will develop the character of their own.